“Hey, my spaghetti’s moving!” cried Mr. Twit, poking around in it with his fork.
“It’s a new kind,” Mrs. Twit said, taking a mouthful from her own plate which of course had no worms. “It’s called Squiggly Spaghetti. It’s delicious.
Eat it up while it’s nice and hot.” – The Twits, Roald Dahl
The good news is that you won’t eat real worms when you enjoy afternoon tea at the London Marriott Hotel County Hall …but there will be worms on the menu!
Of all the many things to do in London with kids, one of our favourite treats is afternoon tea. There are dozens of restaurants and cafes in London offering afternoon tea for kids, and now there’s a new afternoon tea in town that is perfect for an October half term or Christmas treat.
The Twits Afternoon Tea at the London Marriott Hotel opened in August and will be served for a limited time only.
So, if you’re keen to try Muggle-Wump brownies, wondering what Trick or Twit scones taste like and are daring enough to eat Maggoty Green Cheese and Mouldy Cornflakes then book a table for a wonderfully revolting Twit-themed afternoon tea.
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Roald Dahl’s The Twits
Roald Dahl’s The Twits was first published in 1980 and tells the tale of Mr. and Mrs. Twit, a thoroughly revolting couple who live in a brick house without windows.
They are mean, lazy and unkempt, and spend their days playing horrible tricks on one another. They also terrorise their pet monkeys, the Muggle-Wumps, and spread glue on the branches of a tree in a bid to catch birds to make into a pie.
Apparently, Dahl was inspired to write the story because he had an acute hatred of beards and sure enough, Mr Twit’s horrible beard (which covers his entire face except for his forehead, eyes and nose) features prominently in the book, filled with scraps of food including tinned sardines, Stilton cheese and corn flakes. For her part, Mrs Twit uses her glass eye to frighten people.
Eventually, however, the Twit’s cruelty leads to their undoing and the Muggle-Wumps, aided by a Roly-Poly bird, have their revenge and escape.
The Twits Afternoon Tea
The Twits afternoon tea is hosted in the Leaders room of the London Marriott Hotel. The room sits opposite the Library where traditional afternoon tea is served.
The space has been wonderfully decorated to resemble the world of the Twits. One corner is dedicated to the Twits’ living room, complete with two oversized leather armchairs, a bookcase crammed full of guides on how to play tricks alongside plates of old spaghetti and chicken pie. There are even beards – filled with bits of old (fake) food to try on.
In another corner stands the Big Dead Tree and the tables have been decorated with pots of Hug-Tight Glue. The walls are decorated with illustrator Quentin Blake’s drawings of The Twits alongside some of their most memorable quotes.
The attention to detail is fantastic and you must make time to look at the Twit’s bookshelf that’s full of Twit-ish books such as 101 Hilarious Pranks and Practical Jokes and Sticky Situations and How to Get Out of Them.
The Twits Afternoon Tea Menu
This attention to detail extends to the menu, which is filled with delicious quirky treats inspired by The Twits.
The first item on the savoury menu is Bird Pie, inspired by the dinner that Mrs Twit served for Mr Twit every Wednesday. Here, however, Mrs Twit’s Bird Pie is made with chicken, leek and ham.
The rest of the savoury menu is, according to our waiter, inspired by Mr Twit’s beard. As such there are Maggoty Green Cheese and Mouldy Cornflakes (arancini), Scrambled Egg (an egg mayonnaise sandwich served on spinach bread), and Fish Finger (smoked haddock served in a brioche with ketchup).
Not surprisingly, there’s a play on Mrs Twit’s Wormy Spaghetti, fortunately in this instance made with cucumbers and served with cream cheese on wholemeal bread.
The Trick or Twit Scones reference Mrs Twit’s delight at playing pranks. Two buttermilk and two marmite scones and the “trick” is that you won’t know which is which until you tried them. We actually managed to deduced which was the buttermilk scone but nevertheless, it’s a fun interpretation of the gruesome twosome and this classic children’s book.
The sweet menu celebrates the other characters in the book, namely the Muggle-Wumps (a Monkey Nut and Banana Brownie) and the Roly-Poly Bird (a jam roly-poly sponge). Our favourite was the Fizzy Drinks, a lemon and orange macaron made with popping candy.
A good selection of teas is included in the price. Additional drinks – including a glass of champagne – are extra.
The Twits Afternoon Tea Children’s Menu
The Twits Afternoon Tea Kids Menu is largely the same as the adult’s menu. The main difference is with the savoury treats which are replaced by Mr Twit’s Sandwich (ham and cheese with onion crisps) and Mrs Twit’s Sandwich (chicken and stuffing sandwich) instead.
The other difference is the choice of drinks where tea is place with the choice of Twits-themed drinks: Skillywiggler Lemonade with Frogspawn (lemonade with apple pearls) or Roly-Poly Berry Juice (Berry milkshake with white chocolate feather).
The scones and the trio of sweet treats are identical to those on the adults’ menu.
I read after our visit that kids’ are given an activity booklet and colouring pencils. We didn’t receive this (I visited with my 9-year-old) but it didn’t affect our overall experience. If you would like a booklet to keep your kids entertained, however, then do ask for one.
How much is the Twits Afternoon Tea?
The Twits Afternoon Tea will be served daily between 12pm – 5pm and is £65 per adult and £45 per child (up to 12 years).They are currently running a 30% discount over the October half term.
Where is the Twits Afternoon Tea?
The Twits Afternoon Tea is served in the Leaders room of the Marriott London County Hall hotel, on the banks of London’s River Thames and around the corner from the London Aquarium Shrek’s Adventure and the newly opened Paddington experience.
Our thoughts on the Twits Afternoon Tea
Overall I loved this celebration of the Twits’ story and its deliciously revolting new take on afternoon tea. I loved the decor and the faithful recreation of the Twits’ horrid living room, and the creative menu that celebrates everything that is truly repulsive about The Twits.
It’s a wonderfully unique experience and one that I highly recommend if you are looking for an original afternoon tea experience.
